You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.

In his book "True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart," the Vietnamese monk Thich Nhat Hanh elaborates on the brahmavihārās, a series of four virtues and corresponding meditation practices made to cultivate them. Of the first — maitri, or loving-kindness — Thich Nhat Hanh writes that, because “understanding is the essence of love,” one must practice being attentive, looking deeply, and understanding one’s beloved. The second virtue is karuna, or compassion, which involves not just the desire to ease another’s pain, but the ability to do so. Third, mudita roughly translates to empathetic joy: “If there is not joy in love,” Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “it is not true love.” Of the fourth, upeksha, or equanimity, he observes, “In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom.”